July 9, 2024

Five safest places to hide and shelter during a zombie apocalypse

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Five safest places to hide and shelter during a zombie apocalypse

By Joel | July 9, 2024
Discover the top 5 safest hideouts for surviving a zombie apocalypse. From shopping malls to remote islands, learn where to seek refuge from the horde.

What if... you woke up one morning to find the world as you knew it had crumbled overnight? The streets, once bustling with life, now echo with the groans of the undead. And in a blink of the eye, you have just become an unwitting participant in the grand spectacle of a zombie apocalypse.

Now, I suppose the question on everyone's mind is: where the heck does one go to avoid becoming an all-you-can-eat buffet for the horde? Today, we'll journey through five locations that might just save your skin when the end credits of civilization have rolled by.

1. The Local Shopping Mall

Once a temple of consumerism and a place to meet girls, it now stands as a fortress against the consuming masses of a different kind. Dawn of the Dead wasn't far off the mark here either, as these structures often boast reinforced doors, multiple levels for tactical advantage, and enough canned goods in the supermarket to last you through several seasons of this macabre show.

However, be warned: while you're living out your retail therapy apocalypse fantasy, so might every other survivor within a 50-mile radius. You'll need to arrive early to stake your claim, and perhaps be prepared for some intense negotiations with other survivors. After all, the customer isn't always right when the customer service staff have joined the ranks of the undead.

2. An Offshore Oil Rig

For those with a taste for the dramatic and a strong stomach for seasickness, an offshore oil rig might be your ticket to survival. These behemoths of industry titans sit isolated in vast expanses of water, which we know is a natural moat against our land-lubber zombies.

I suppose the real challenge here lies in actually reaching one of these maritime fortresses. But once you're there, you'll find yourself in a self-contained city with food supplies, medical facilities, and enough fuel to keep the generators running until the horde have decomposed back into the earth from whence they came.

3. A Maximum Security Prison

Now, here's a plot twist worthy of M. Night Shyamalan: seeking safety behind bars. Prisons, particularly those of the maximum-security variety, are designed to keep people in, but they're equally adept at keeping threats out. The scene from The Walking Dead proved that staying in a prison was the best possible option, and why they eventually left remains, in my opinion, the worst decision the group ever made.

High walls, watchtowers, and often their own power and water systems make these concrete complexes a survivor's paradise. For example, you might find yourself sleeping soundly in a cell, knowing that the only thing getting through those iron bars is the occasional zombie moan carried on the wind. Just be sure to clear out any remaining inmates first as you wouldn't want to trade one threat for another, would you?

4. A Remote Mountain Cabin

For the survivalist, a secluded mountain cabin offers a picturesque escape from the apocalypse. Nestled high in the peaks, far from populated areas, you'll find yourself in a natural and peaceful fortress The steep terrain, for example, will slow down even the most determined of zombies, giving you ample time to practice your marksmanship with a gun or bow and arrow.

However, while a cabin is an ideal place, be prepared for a life of solitude as your only company might be the occasional bear, cayote, or racoon, which let's face it, is probably preferable to a horde of zombies. Just remember to stock up on supplies as Amazon Prime's delivery is unlikely to be somewhat reliable in these trying times.

5. An Island Paradise

Last but not least, we have the classic desert island scenario, but instead of being a castaway, you're a voluntary exile from the zombie-infested mainland. A small, easily defendable island offers natural isolation and the opportunity to rebuild society, albeit a very small one.

Local dishes like tropical fruits, fish, and coconuts will keep hunger at bay while you ride out the apocalypse. For entertainment, you can always stage your own version of Gilligan's Island, just don't expect Ginger or Mary Ann to make a cameo.

Overall, while these Top 5 locations might offer sanctuary from the mindless masses, remember that the real key to survival lies not in where you hide, but in the company you keep and the wits you bring to bear. After all, in the great zombie apocalypse, it's not just about surviving today, but about surviving long enough to see the sequel.


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