September 11, 2023

The Roaring Fur-Ball of Atari: Selling the "64-Bit" Jaguar

This post may contain affiliate links from places like Amazon and Green Man Gaming — and we may earn a small commission when you click these links. All earnings will go to keeping this website as minimally ad-free as possible. Learn more here.

The Roaring Fur-Ball of Atari: Selling the "64-Bit" Jaguar

By Rafie Rhee | September 11, 2023

[Scene: A quirky meeting room at Atari HQ. The executives are seated, trying to figure out how to market their latest console, the Atari Jaguar. The room is filled with nervous excitement, trepidation, and a hint of desperation.]

CEO: Alright, team, we have a wild beast on our hands, the Atari Jaguar! It's powerful, it's sleek, and it's…(glances around)…uhh, 64-bits! Yeah, that's right! 64-bits!

VP of Marketing: (whispers to a colleague) More like "64 bits of creativity"! We need a plan to make this furball appealing!

[The marketing team looks around with puzzled expressions, wondering how to make this work.]

Marketing Executive 1: (grinning) I've got an idea! Let's tell the buyers and gaming magazines that the jaguar is so advanced that it can see in 64 different dimensions! You know, like those fancy 3D games.

Tech Specialist: (rolls eyes) I hate to break it to you, but it's not actually 64-bits. It's just a cool 32-bit console at best with some growls added.

VP of Marketing: (panicking) Come on, team! We can't let the truth ruin our fun! Let's create a buzz by telling gamers we've unlocked the "64-bit" potential. Who knows, maybe they'll believe it!

CEO: (nodding) That's the spirit! We'll make them feel like they're part of an exclusive club, owning a console with hidden powers only true gaming wizards can perceive!

Design Executive: (sketching furiously) I've got it! Let's design the console with paw prints all over it, and we'll say they represent the 64 paws of the most majestic jaguar in the gaming kingdom!

Tech Specialist: (trying to contain laughter) Seriously? Paws for bits now? That's… something.

Marketing Executive 2: (grinning) Hear me out! We'll run a TV commercial showing the Atari Jaguar leaping from the dense jungle onto the gaming battlefield! And then, a voiceover booms, "64-bit leap of power!"

CEO: (laughing) Yes! That's the spirit! We'll take the gaming world by storm with our ferocious 64-bit cat!

[The tech specialist raises a finger, as if about to point out something important.]

Tech Specialist: Uh, guys, remember that the Sega Saturn, 3DO, and the upcoming Playstation are also a 32-bit consoles, right? We can't claim to be leaps and bounds ahead of any of them. Especially the Playstation.

VP of Marketing: (ignoring the fact) Details, my friend, details! Our 64-bit claim will be the stuff of gaming legends!

Marketing Executive 1: (excitedly) We'll also partner with zoos and animal sanctuaries to sponsor real-life jaguars! Gamers will feel like they're protecting the wild kingdom by buying our console!

CEO: (enthusiastically) And let's create a game where players are "Jaguar Guardians," rescuing wild animals from evil poachers! We'll call it "64-bit Wild Rescuers"!

Tech Specialist: (shaking head) Why not just call it "Wild Rescuers"? The bits have nothing to do with saving animals.

VP of Marketing: (with conviction) Remember, we're not selling a console; we're selling a lifestyle! Owning an Atari Jaguar will be like taming a powerful, mystical creature! Only those gamers worthy enough to harness the power of 64-bit can then be called 'true gamers'!

[The team is buzzing with excitement, ready to take on the gaming world with their outlandish ideas.]

In this scenario, the Atari executives embrace the absurdity of their marketing approach, ignoring technical realities to create a wild narrative around the Atari Jaguar.

Their quirky and humorous ideas add a touch of levity to the meeting, showing that sometimes in the world of marketing, enthusiasm and imagination can overshadow facts. Despite their hilarious pitch, the Atari Jaguar's unique marketing strategy might just be what sets it apart in the competitive gaming jungle.

Interested in reading more about Atari? Check out The History of Atari here.

January 12, 2024
Why the Iowa Caucus Matters: A Look at the First Crucial Step in the GOP Presidential Race

Understand the unique caucus process in Iowa and discover why this state sets the presidential race's pace.

Read More
January 11, 2024
A Sobering Look into the Trenches of Medical Management: War Hospital (Steam) Review

Experience the gritty reality of WW1 field hospitals in War Hospital and explores the game's immersive environment and powerful narrative.

Read More
January 10, 2024
Stay Hydrated and Game On: The Top Gaming Water Bottles for Endurance and Performance

Discover the ultimate gaming water bottles designed to keep you hydrated and at peak performance.

Read More


November 26, 2023
The Enchanting Mystery of the Cottingley Fairies

Discover the captivating story behind the Cottingley Fairies, a famous hoax that fooled the world with enchanting photographs of mythical creatures

August 21, 2021
Taking the High Ground - HighFleet (PC) Review

It’s a special game from start to finish, and perhaps, I'll go ahead and say it, one of the best of 2021 so far.

July 29, 2023
Pavement Pandemonium: Tristan Cole's Pro Driver

Embrace the adrenaline rush of high-octane stunts and neck-breaking speeds in this tribute to Sega's Crazy Taxi and the glory days of racing games

April 2, 2022
Wanna Fight? Fighting Games and Why They’re So Addictive

What makes games, specifically fighting games in general, so addictive? Read on and find out why.

September 23, 2023
From Gridirons to Goalposts: Decoding Football Lingo

Whether you're a seasoned pro or a clueless newbie, there's always something new to learn, even if it's just a few fancy terms to your game-day vocabulary

linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram