Research prove Assassin's Creed's iconic haystack landings don't work in real life. Do not attempt.

In a recent study that has left gamers questioning their virtual reality, researchers at the Institute of Obvious Physics have conclusively proven that jumping off tall buildings and surviving by landing on a conveniently placed haystack only works in Assassin's Creed. The earth-shattering discovery has sent shockwaves through the AC community and has left countless wannabe assassins, intact, but sorely disappointed.

Dr. Fall N. Splat Explains the Findings

Lead researcher, Dr. Fall N. Splat, explained, "We conducted extensive tests using state-of-the-art crash test dummies, several tons of hay, and a disturbing number of volunteer grad students. Our results has consistently showed that hay is, in fact, not a magical impact-absorbing substance capable of defying the laws of physics."

The study, titled "Haystack Landings: A Pile of Splat," meticulously documented the aftermath of simulated leaps of faith. Unsurprisingly, the results were less "absorbent" and more "gooey like."

Haystack Landings: A Pile of Splat

"It turns out that hay, while excellent for horses and Instagram photo ops, is surprisingly ineffective at breaking falls from heights of 'not very high at all,'" Dr. Splat added.

This revelation has led to a crisis in the historical reenactment community, with several Assassin's Creed cosplayers now seeking alternative, less lethal methods of dramatic entrances.

Ubisoft's Response

In response to the study, Ubisoft issued a statement: "We'd like to remind our players that our games are works of fiction. We thought the hidden wrist-blades and the ability to seamlessly blend into crowds by sitting on a bench were dead giveaways, but apparently, we needed to be more specific."

The researchers hope their findings will discourage any real-world assassination attempts involving death-defying leaps into conveniently placed bales of straw. They suggest that aspiring assassins stick to more practical methods, like poison boba drinks or just waiting for old age to do its thing.

Practical Advice for Aspiring Assassins

In related news, Italian authorities report a significant decrease in tourists climbing historical landmarks, much to the relief of local architecture preservation societies.

So remember, kids: what works in Assassin's Creed stays in Assassin's Creed. For your real-life physical needs, please stick to jumping over small puddles and maybe the occasional park bench. Your bones, and the park maintenance workers, will thank you.